My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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