Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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