So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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