Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
