So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
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I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
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I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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