She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
My cat gives me a boner
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
