I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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