Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
