my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
