Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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