JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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