I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
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