I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
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