Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
