hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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