they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Randomize
