i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
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I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
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By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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