She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
