you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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