Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
