Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
