we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
