Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize