I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You've changed since you got that strap on
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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