i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize