found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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