shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
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She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
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100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
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