I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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