Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
