I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
