Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
