Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
