I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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