She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
