The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
He told me they were just razor bumps!
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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