ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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