soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
