Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
