I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
