is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
