Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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