lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
