Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
