I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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