I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
