You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
