Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Success! We fucked roommates!
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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