I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
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