it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
