i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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