So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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