even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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