he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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