I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
