U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
