You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Randomize
