what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
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my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
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Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
So much Jack, so little girl.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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