Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I am available for nakedness
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
