The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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