so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
