what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
